Will I Ever Land?

The hardest thing i guess is realising the truth, realising what is really going on, understanding that no matter what you want or need things are not going the way you want them to. And that hurts...i mean it really hurts...it breaks my heart and i cry...i cry like a baby sometimes... you know how it works...

So the question is what do you do? I was thinking yesterday that i cant really let myself off this trip... I like it how it is... All them great feelings as well as the bad ones will have to go away, to pass, (you know like the rain on the mountains) and it hurts even more to realise that if i force myself off this trip all these will pass... i dont want them to pass because it will hurt... but then again it hurts anyway...so what do you do...

I guess since it hurts either way i should go with the option where i get something out of it as well... But then again... I dont know to be honest... i just know that it keeps hurting... and "it goes back and forth and back and forth" Never Never LAND!